It Doesn't Get Much Dumber, Folks.

[mrkilborn]

So, I'm strolling in to do tonight's late_late_show when I discover that natalie_portman has left me a note saying that she couldn't make it! Okay. I have fifeen minutes to get a replacement guest. Sure. No problem.

debra_messing, my friend and possible lover offered her services as the second guest. I agreed, just moments before milla_jovovich appeared... she was the original choice for the show to begin with! But, too late, the program was already altered for Deb to be the guest.

Prophetic? Read on.

As it turns out, the crowds for a Tuesday night program were far smaller than those on our usual night, which of course is Friday. And many of the people had never even heard of The Late Late Show.

Great. It's not that any of these people "misbehaved," but they simply didn't get what was going on, because they were invited in without knowing the rules for the studio audience. They basically rabble-roused the entire show, almost starting a "Springer" type fight with chairs right in the middle of Yambo.

On top of this, Deb had been having some romantic moments with this guy Sully... and she wanted to throw that in my face by wearing a Godsmack T shirt for our interview. How's that for classless? She's the one who invited in the noisemakers, and she tops it with her top. Should I have expected less? Read the Show #5 entries in the late_late_show journal to see how it all went down.

I really don't like getting involved with people who are still married. I'm sorry if that makes me old-fashioned. I'm sorry if that makes me less exciting than the lead singer for a rock band.

At that point, I simply wanted to post the show and get out, but LJ decided to go into "Read Only" mode, and that meant I had to wait until the server cleared so I could upload. Plenty of time to sit and listen to Deb ask me questions about where I thought our relationship was going.

Great. Well, at this point, I thought that she would flirt a bit then go back to her husband, since they hadn't even signed off on the divorce. So, I candidly shared these thoughts with her.

Of course, after LJ started functioning again, when I attempted to piece the show together, when I'm tired and just want to get it all done, Deb comes backstage, still wearing her "Godsmack" Tee, only now it's all rumpled, and she has a visible hickey on her neck and she tells me that Sully has asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes.

Great! Thank you. Bye.

I guess some people simply can't wait until their divorces are final before they jump into another relationship.

Am I the crazy one?

I dodged a bullet there.

Comments

[jodi-lyn.livejournal.com]

Hi Craig. First off, I'm glad to know that not all the Late Late Shows are like that, considering this was my first time visiting one. I was very disturbed and kept myself quiet... I almost thought I was going to get hit with a flying chair by a disgruntled rock star. Woo.

About Deb, I'm sorry. She is my friend though, so I would in no way bad mouth her. I don't know what's running through her head, and I don't know why she chose to do, what she's doing, but I'm sorry everything worked out like this for you. You seem like such a great guy... who I personally think knows far to me, for any sane man (no offense of course), and you deserve the best for you. Maybe Deb wasn't the best for you and vise-versa, but don't worry. In time you'll find her. I promise. :)

*Jodi Lyn

[mrkilborn.livejournal.com]

Hi, Jodi Lyn.

Thanks for your sentiments. It was our first time having done a show on a Tuesday, and I don't forsee many future Tuesday programs, after this one!

As for Deb, well, I guess I wasn't moving fast enough for her tastes. Clearly, when you're being rejected, it always hurts.

Thanks again.

[sullyerna.livejournal.com]

You really are funny, Craig. Too bad you hate me. -smirks- I can't help it, it does you no good to compare yourself to me, we're both funny and I'm sure you're charming, but, look- face it- I am in the music industry and you're in the TV industry- they're two different worlds, so it does no good pointing out I'm the lead singer of a band.. You're the lead singer of Late Late Show. And look, don't blame Debra for people coming in. That was my fault. I invited in Mike and Fred, not her. So please, if you want to blame anyone and air it out for the world to see put the blame where it belongs. On me. I invited Mike and Fred and that was it. Anyone else they must have let in. I don't think the show went as bad as you say. I behaved. Everyone was for the most part. I just think what's bothering you is me, and her Godsmack shirt. She became a fan overnight, and she wore that as a surprise to me. It had nothing to do with hurting you, but hate me if you want, just realize I am not mad at you, jealous of you or by you, and I am completely secure in my relationship. I just want Debra happy. I told her she could go to you and see how it worked out, I'd wait, but she didn't want to do that. You can ask her at how many times I bitched about feeling guilty for keeping you two apart- just ask her. I tried my best not to come inbetween you two but I did- and maybe it was meant to be. Maybe not? Time will tell my friend. Time will tell and time is hell. That's from a song. Stone Temple Pilots. So, moving along, Craig, I want to get along with you, I want Debra to not have to feel like shit being with me, and it isn't going to be pretty- what happens- if you hurt her. Not a threat. Just a promise. Stop saying stupid pointless shit to make her feel like less than what she is- perfection.

Straighten It Out...

[mrkilborn.livejournal.com]

You really are funny, Craig. Too bad you hate me. -smirks-

First of all, I don't hate you.

I can't help it, it does you no good to compare yourself to me, we're both funny and I'm sure you're charming, but, look- face it- I am in the music industry and you're in the TV industry- they're two different worlds, so it does no good pointing out I'm the lead singer of a band..

Believe it or not, I wasn't comparing myself to you. You might be funny, you might not. I have no idea. And the reason I pointed out who you were is because a great many people HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE. I'm recounting something that happened here. That particular detail was needed to tell the story.

And look, don't blame Debra for people coming in. That was my fault. I invited in Mike and Fred, not her. So please, if you want to blame anyone and air it out for the world to see put the blame where it belongs. On me. I invited Mike and Fred and that was it. Anyone else they must have let in.

The real truth is that it was all my fault. I assumed that people knew what was happening here, so I didn't prompt the audience before things got started, and I should have made certain that people were not inviting others in during the program. Because of the last minute scramble of setting up the show after a guest could not make it distracted me.

I don't think the show went as bad as you say.

With all due respect, that's based upon your limited knowledge of how the show normally goes.

I behaved. Everyone was for the most part. I just think what's bothering you is me, and her Godsmack shirt. She became a fan overnight, and she wore that as a surprise to me. It had nothing to do with hurting you, but hate me if you want, just realize I am not mad at you, jealous of you or by you, and I am completely secure in my relationship.

Really, seriously, you aren't bothering me. I just felt that wearing the shirt on the show was kind of bad form. Put yourself in my place. What if Deb had worn a Late Late Show T shirt on stage at one of your concerts? Believe me, the shirt was much more of a surprise to me than it was to you.

I just want Debra happy. I told her she could go to you and see how it worked out, I'd wait, but she didn't want to do that. You can ask her at how many times I bitched about feeling guilty for keeping you two apart- just ask her. I tried my best not to come inbetween you two but I did- and maybe it was meant to be. Maybe not? Time will tell my friend. Time will tell and time is hell. That's from a song. Stone Temple Pilots.

I'd like Debra happy as well. Obviously, she wasn't happy with me. My only complaint was with her method of telling me.

So, moving along, Craig, I want to get along with you, I want Debra to not have to feel like shit being with me, and it isn't going to be pretty- what happens- if you hurt her. Not a threat. Just a promise. Stop saying stupid pointless shit to make her feel like less than what she is- perfection.

The best way to get along with me is to not say I'm saying "stupid pointless shit." This is my journal and these are my feelings, and no one, not even you, will tell me what I can and cannot say here. If you have a problem with that... I guess you have a problem.

I have moved past Debra and you. I've dropped it. Things will get back to normal more quickly if you do the same.

[ex-paltrow69.livejournal.com]

Mr. Kilborn, I regret that I did not attend your show last night and I'm guessing I missed a lot. I'm sorry that things did not go well (the show and things with Debra) and I hope you will feel better soon.

You are my favorite late night show host. *grins*

[dave-letterman.livejournal.com]

*Gasp*

[ex-paltrow69.livejournal.com]

Oh Mr. Letterman, I do adore you too.

[mrkilborn.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Miss Gwyneth. I'm feeling a bit better already.

[dave-letterman.livejournal.com]

Now I feel like an ass. Just thinking of my own feelings.
I'm glad you're feeling better about everything, Kilborn.

[ex-paltrow69.livejournal.com]

I will just continue to think that it was my sparkling comment that cheered you up!

[natalie-portman.livejournal.com]

i apologize again for cancelling on such short notice, craig. maybe we can reschedule for some time in the near future.

[mrkilborn.livejournal.com]

I understand perfectly, Nat. We'll arrange another appearence in the next couple of weeks.

[drew-barrymore.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about how everything went down Craig - it doesn't sound like it was good for either of you.

But...

I guess some people simply can't wait until their divorces are final before they jump into another relationship.

Am I the crazy one?

I don't know Deb's situation - but I know that marriages can be complicated - and that things aren't always as they seem. Unfortunatly marriages in this day and age don't seem to hold the same meaning they once did. I'm very guilty of entering into marriages that didn't hold the meaning they should.

I don't think that love and attraction have a time line - sometimes you meet somone and they are just it. And, it is easier to act on those emotions then to wait until a piece of paper says you are "allowed" to move on with your romantic life.

[mrkilborn.livejournal.com]

Hi Drew!

Thanks for your reflections about it all.

I totally understand about the love and attraction and timing. I guess I felt that if there was a bit more thought about how to say "it's over" than coming on my show with a t shirt of your new boyfriend's band, and then coming backstage after making out with him to say, "oh, by the way, I'm dumping you," was what bothered me.

I'm okay though!

[debra-messing.livejournal.com]

I really really wish I had the energy to respond to all of this.

But I don't...