Jan. 21st, 2004

I try not to watch a lot of television (after all, I have to deal with making it five nights a week). But it seems like everyone I know is getting a reality series. I don't need to list them since you all know them all.

But what's going on with it anyway? I try to watch some of these shows and I need to curl up in the fetal position and throw my comforter over myself in my California King sized bed.

Please... let's have some ground rules for these shows.

1. No shouting! I'm one channel flip away from a migraine anyway. Being loud isn't going to make your show any better.

2. No pixelation! If you can't show it on regular TV, don't bother doing it. Did you ever think that it's cool to see pixelated images of people exposing themselves? What's that about really? Disgusting!

3. Originality. How about doing something new? The dating shows... the wedding shows... the makeover shows... we've seen it all! Maybe it's time for my "NBA Tryout Camp" program, with all of the people who think they're good enough to make a team from across the country coming to the court and suiting up for their Hoop Dreams! The Knicks might just find their starting lineup thanks to me!

4. Downplay the hype. Try not to make EVERY episode seem like the "most important ever!" It's so easy to burn out. I might just watch "Tru Calling!"

5. Feel free to try doing some ACTUAL shows, instead of "real" shows. TV is all about the fakery (as anyone who watches me must know by now)! Let's see some more of that, networks... and you too, UPN!

August 2004

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